gobsmackr

“Maybe someday these babies will grow up to be police officers and arrest bad people, or will find a cure for cancer,” says Oklahoma State Senator (R) Todd Lamb, the majority floor leader, in reference to the state’s new abortion legislation (HB 2656) that protects doctors from being sued if they withhold fetal test results they believe would cause a woman to consider abortion.

Not OK, Oklahoma...you get what you deserve.

We say: And maybe there’s a connection between your ass-brain political decisions and your state’s uncanny ability to attract natural disasters. Today’s tornadoes a coincidence? We think not. More like the wrath of God.

How do you say "bullshit" in Chinese?

Yeung Wing-Cheung, representing a team of Chinese and Turkish evangelical explorers, says: “It’s not 100 percent that it is Noah’s Ark,” speaking of wooden remains they have discovered on Mount Ararat in eastern Turkey, “but we think it is 99.9 percent that this is it.”

We say: But then there’s that other 0.1 percent that keeps shouting out “loser” to the sane world. If you find Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earhart and Bigfoot inside playing Texas Hold Em, maybe we’ll believe you, but until then stop with the nonsense and go fetch us some fried pork dumplings from the kitchen.